MY STORY

The questions that we ask each other when we meet, such as “where are you from” or “what do you do”, may seem simple enough, yet have always felt deceivingly complex to me. When it’s my turn to answer, after a sigh and joke about being a walking identity crisis, I recite the same story I’ve told many times before about this parent being from one place, that parent being from another place yet having spent decades elsewhere, me being born in none of those places and us all ending up in a country unrelated to any of them. Add one cup of Judaism, two cups of queerness and a tablespoon of ADHD. Slowly mix in two psychology degrees, a MAS in Sexual Health and a handful of different jobs in different sectors. Top off with a pinch of special secret spice mix (aka trauma), let simmer for 30 years, and voila: you get me.

 

Having always felt distinctly different in some way to my peers, I yearned to understand who I was, how I was, and how other people were so that I could understand where and how I fit in. I used to believe that I had too many ingredients, that this recipe was simply too complicated for anyone to understand, let alone enjoy. Only once I realised that the question “what’s wrong with me?” was actually “who am I?” did I feel brave enough to ask myself some of the difficult questions necessary to discover all of the ingredients of my identity. Many questions later, I was able to acknowledge that what I believed to be cinnamon had been nutmeg all along, that my contrasting flavours actually don't clash - they compliment each other, and that my recipe could (and should!) be regularly tasted and tweaked. Now, I am on the journey of accepting and loving the unique blend of all of my ingredients.

 

Unquenchable curiosity and years of psychology training and therapy have lead me to believe that wisdom is about questions. If you want to uncover truths and gain genuine insight, you must first pose the right questions. So, enough about me, tell me, what should I know about you?